Do You Have 2 Classes of Children in Your Family?

Each new stage of life offers new insights, perspectives and hopefully wisdom. Our family is on the verge of our second child’s wedding. We have been blessed with exceptional people who have joined our family through marriage. This makes the occasion an incredible celebration. It really is one of life’s greatest blessings.

After our first child’s wedding, I found myself asking new questions for the first time. Would Keaton, our daughter’s husband, be our son-in-law or our son? How would we/he know which he was and what are the implications to our family?

I believe my decisions need to be principle-based. Our family is one of our greatest priorities. We seek to foster mutual love and respect through our family, to enjoy and support each other, to have a common purpose, and to laugh a lot. We want to grow together and have lives that are fuller than if we did not have each other. For me, this vision requires that we only have one class of children: a child who married into our family would be treated no different than a child who was born into our family.

We seek to not treat our new children differently, but they are different. They have a different family history and different life experiences shared with their own families. There will be differences in perspectives. These differences are a great benefit to our family; they broaden our views, add to our collective history, give us access to new options. Our new children bring great richness and more flavour to our family. The best companies have people with diverse skill sets and embrace each person for the unique benefits they bring to the business. The best families do the same.

Unfortunately, there will be growing pains as a new person is grafted into our family tree. But I must remind myself that I would rather deal with these growing pains than change another baby’s dirty diaper. I would way rather seek to understand, exercise patience, adjust our ways or ask forgiveness. I cannot comment or relate to childbirth but adding adults to our family is certainly preferred over new births! And for me being a money guy, adding children that I have not had to educate, pay for sports equipment, clothes and feed for a couple decades is much cheaper.

So how do we know if we have two classes of children? My guess is as soon as you ask the question, your gut will tell you. If not, check your will, it will tell you if you have different classes of family members. Regardless of your answer, you need to ask what the implications are, and will this help or hinder the future you desire?